Confessions of a Duct Tape Remover

What happened to me?

Dang New Years “Goals”! Just as I decided to go CALM for 2014….something odd happened….

I ripped off my duct tape.

OUCH!  {Note to self…duct tape removal is NOT calm}

Ok Blog Followers…maybe human graphics are too painful to view….I will switch it up to cartoons. Wink.

Poor Spongebob…he looks a bit raw.  Sort of how I was feeling last night.  Along with tired… drama is draining! (See Endnote)

Any good Duct Tape Parent reflects on the reasons for the duct tape removal.  This proves to be especially useful as I pull out the roll of tape and start applying it liberally to all aspects of my Parental Being.  The reflection process is very easy and can be done while all tucked into a warm cozy bed with lights off in the quiet of the night.

Why did I feel the need to get all involved in my kids’ world’s the last few days? (See Endnote)

I’m going to try and blame it on the “start of the year” healthy juice cleanse.  Cleanse the body, cleanse the mind????  Ok, that is a lame excuse.  No really…maybe it was the sugar “imbalance -rebalance” that caused me to jump ship and start trying to figure out how I was going to “train” my kids to time-manage next week’s semester finals.  Or maybe….it was cabin fever with a sick kid for three days that got me all “maternal” and feeling the need to “heal all wounds”.  Oh Oh… I got it … I was a ding bat! {I say this in the most loving way to myself with humor and a wink and kindness that we are all human}

Schoolwork is a hot button for me. Rather, not “doing schoolwork” is the button.  This school year I pledged to get out of my kid’s way, put on duct tape, and let them have their own educational experience.  (See: Buttons! What Buttons? post) My young Male Cubs are experimenting with what happens to your grades when one fails to turn in work or study for tests.  It has been a learning experience for me to try and stay out the way.

The real reality in my household is that my kids are starting to “act up” as the semester comes to an end.  I could sense the emotions (those feelings that crop up from extreme procrastination) and I began trying to “encourage”.  (In reality…I was slowing peeeeeling back the duct tape and trying to be sneaky and sly and HELP them).  Even the best intentioned help can start to cause problems.  But hey, I am still growing into my own new parenting skin.  Learning myself.  Learning is messy!  ….and I started to feel like all their choices could be explained because I hadn’t properly trained them to study.  As I slowly “took on” my kid’s choices to go out and play instead of doing homework (and all the other noodling techniques that kept them from doing their schoolwork) I started to have all the flashbacks from my own choice-making. {Danger Will Robinson}.

The challenge of Getting Out of My Kid’s Way– is learning how to batten down the hatches and be ready for the storm of watching my kids learn hard lessons.  As the Wise Old Owl, I have a pretty good idea of all the consequences that come with failing a class.  {Ummmm… yes… first hand knowledge from doing it myself in college.  It sucks.}  For most of us parents, we don’t want to see our kids hurt.  Shielding kids can come in so many forms:  warning, lecturing, fixing, saving….  Well intentioned moves, but mess makers none the less!  {Wink}.

The good news:  I did use better strategies this week.  The Old MM (Micromanager Mom) would have been sending emails to all the teachers or even worse…jumping on the phone to collect deadlines for the missing assignments.  I would have sprung into action mode and started getting everyone “organized” and forced a time schedule to study.  I would have TAKEN OVER and become a Domestic Drill Sergeant.

Confession:  I actually did pull up blank calendars but I “suggested” they fill in their study schedule.  Hey, a gal has to Train her Troops.  And after all… technology privileges in this home are tied to attempting schoolwork … Missing Assignments for Ds and Fs = Missing Cellphones {dang pesky technology!!!!  If I hadn’t indulged my wee ones with iPhones… I wouldn’t be in most of my parenting messes}.

But…this week I also…

… used questioning strategies/conversations with my kids.  I encouraged them.  I complimented their courage.  I shared my own experiences.  ….. we communicated !!!!  And because I went at it with motivation to build a relationship with my kids… I learned a lot about them.  I feel like we “built” some things. Overall…there is progress being made by all!

They are learning their life lessons… So Am I!  When they don’t do assignments…it is a bummer.  When I take off my duct tape….yep…. BUMMER!

So tape me up Sully!

****ENDNOTE:

The real Duct Tape Removal happened more in the “village” than with my kids.  (Hey that is progress).  As I watched my youngest “struggle with things”…his sport world got muddled up in his verbal processing.  As DH and I “decided” to keep the duct tape on about his team/club, other families were having similar issues….and…. so…. {cheeks red with shame}

….I entered the drama…. (oh the horror!)

But…I’m pleased to say…I only stayed in DramaLand for less than 24 hours.  (i’m gonna continue to protect my ego and blame the juice cleanse reaction for part of it!)

Ending this post with my final thought… although the words sort a… kind a…sound the same…

Calm and Drama do not go together.

2014 Be Calm Mom……{No Drama Mama}

Duct Tape can certainly help to stay the course.