Happy New Year!
I always consider the start of a new school year as an opportunity for new beginnings. New binders, crayons, and folders. New shoes and new school clothes. It’s exciting!
…A fresh new start. I am entering 2nd Grade/Year #2 in Duct Tape Parenting.
I got the amazing opportunity of participating in my first “class of the year”:
(She is starting another round of it on September 15th. Click Family Meetings with Vicki Hoefle to join.)
The Family Meeting is a critical tool when raising respectful, responsible, and resilient kids. It is a deep and rich strategy that helps you move forward and stay on track toward continued success. VH
Last year I shared “An Invitation to Our Family Meeting”
I’m taking it to the next level and diving deeper. I have decided to step back, Go Slow, and rebuild our Family Meetings from the bottom up.
Every meeting starts with Appreciations.
Appreciations are an opportunity for us to acknowledge and express gratitude for the difference the people that we live with make in our lives every day. This is the parent’s opportunity to focus their attention on helping their children develop traits like kindness, inclusion, compassion, understanding, respect, and acceptance and a chance to feel good about their strengths. VH
I don’t want to give away too many of the amazing rich goodies you will learn in the class…but I’m willing to try any strategy that will address the everyday challenges of:
- Sibling Rivalry
- Rude and Disrespectful Behavior
- Being Critical of Others
- Self-Criticism
Imagine a world where every child was showered with appreciations every week by the members of their family?
Expressing gratitude week after week, month after month, year after year in a society where the focus is on finding problems and pointing out faults, teaches our children how to for the best in family members, their friends, and their community. VH
I have to admit, our Appreciations got very superficial over the last year. A lot of appreciating “car rides, meals, weekends/vacations”. They were all sort of easy to do…and no one really felt empowered by the process. So I was thankful to have some handy hints to set out on our new improved version of the family meetings.
- Be Prepared for Appreciations to be difficult (for everyone-Parents too!)
- When someone is stuck, let them pass and try again when everyone is finished
- Create an appreciation board or encourage everyone to write them down through out the week
- Go deeper by asking “What do you appreciate about…?”
- Have kids struggle to come up with their own and don’t correct anyone’s appreciations
- Limit appreciations to 3-4 sentences.
- Accept that some will struggle; it’s normal.
It is so much more than Saying Nice Things.
So……
- It is my job to shower my kid’s -many times a day -with appreciation and model how it is done.
- If I want more appreciative comments, I have to model it.
- And if we keep at it…we will get the best appreciation of all:
Parenting Teens 